My Depression as a Poem

Depression to me is smiling through the pain —

It’s sitting in the middle of the ocean and ignoring

the water that’s rising past your nose.

Sometimes it’s letting yourself drown so you could

feel something other than nothing.

It’s painful,

and it’s heartbreaking.

Depression is looking into your room

and seeing a blackhole.

Depression is forcing yourself to get up out of bed

and it’s forcing yourself to get dressed.

Depression is crying your eyes out before

going to work and again

when you have to go to sleep.

It’s exhausting and irritating and

it’s something I live with every day.

To me it’s making sure your friends are happy.

It’s making sure they never feel what you feel…

every moment of every second.

It’s ignoring the pain of having this black mass claw

at your chest.

It’s when you’re getting up every day to go through the motions.

Depression is painful, yes.

Yet — it’s keeping that smile on my face